Ella Nance

Ella and her sophomore year volleyball team. (We didn’t have money for color photos in our yearbook.)

Listen to this blog post here.

You may not know this about me, but I played sports in high school. Every year in high school, I played one – if not two- sports: volleyball in the fall and soccer in the spring.

I’d like you to imagine a tall, slender girl with an intense focus as she bends low and passes the ball to the player on her left using her forearms. That player gracefully bounces the ball on quick-moving fingertips back to the girl. Then, as she jumps, she extends an arm ahead of her with the other arm ready to strike. She’s the player everyone cheers for as the ball lands just inside the sideline. It’s impressive to watch.

It also wasn’t me.

Yes, I played sports in high school, and when I say I was bad – I mean, I was awful.

For both sports, I was lucky because anyone who showed up made the team.

In volleyball, my instinct was to jump out of the way when a ball came hurling at me (and, embarrassingly, I did that a few times – but not during games, thankfully). My volley was unpredictable. My passes were occasionally on point. I often prayed I wouldn’t have to serve because I was equally likely to hit the net as a teammate.

There were red, sore, swollen forearms from practice drills, buckets of sweat, and exhaustion. I was even voted most improved each year I played. No one was as bad as I was at the beginning of a season. I had nowhere to go but up.

Soccer wasn’t any better for me. I was slow to react, proficient in running, and easy to distract. So, when Coach appointed me goalie my senior year, I questioned her reasoning skills. I kept imagining myself running into the goalposts – which isn’t the best place for a goalie’s mind in a game…

But I did it.

Year after year, I signed up. I went to practice. I did the drills. I tried my hardest. I gave my best.

In high school, I never let the fact that I was (or might be) bad stop me from trying something. I’m sure some people wished otherwise, but I stayed in it. Just like those volleyball trophies confirmed, every year, I improved.

For a long time, you’d often hear me say, “I won’t let the fact I’m bad at something stop me from doing it.” It was my mantra.

At some point, though, I stopped saying it. Why?

I let others’ judgments, self-doubt, and a fear of looking silly or like I was clueless block me. I accepted those barriers as fact.

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Step 1: Pick Your Thing

What do you want to do or try?

Why?

What about it is appealing to you?

Write it down and post it somewhere you can see it – and read it – every day.

I chose to participate in sports because I loved the camaraderie of a team, and it was a great way to exercise.

Step 2: Lower the Bar

As a perfectionist, I struggle with the perception of getting things right – especially the first time. This causes additional stress and second-guessing of so much of what I do.

But, you don’t have to be perfect to try something.

Give yourself permission to make mistakes. 

Gift yourself the grace to be okay with doing something imperfectly or simply badly.

Be open to the possibility that you’ll either get better, get closer to, or find the next thing you are great at. You might just surprise yourself.

Besides, it can be fun to do certain things badly! More about that in an upcoming post…



Step 3: Start Small

You know what you want to try and why.

You’ve given yourself permission to make mistakes while you explore.

What’s the first small step you can take towards that thing?

Now, go do it!

If you want to be a painter, signup for a painting class or buy cheap paint online or at a local store and follow along with some YouTube videos.

Interested in exploring a new business opportunity? Talk to someone you know or reach out to your network to ask who might be a good person to talk to.

Bonus Tip: Celebrate Your Wins

Celebrate your progress as you go – regardless of how large or small.

Wins don’t have to be only huge milestones. Wins happen all the time on our way to our goals. However, we often overlook them and don’t take the time to acknowledge them and/or our growth.

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To Sum It Up

I didn’t sign up for sports because it was my dream.

I was at a new school during my freshman and sophomore years and knew I wanted to be part of a team. I thought playing sports would be a great way to make friends and exercise. (And, it was.)

I pushed myself because I wanted to be the best version of myself, even if that didn’t look like the star player. She didn’t have to.

I’m proud of my Most Improved Player awards. They were markers of improvement – reminders that I continued to make progress.

More importantly, the lessons I learned led me to many things, including Salsa Dancing. It was my passion for 7 years. I love it to this day. Some of my most cherished memories, relationships, and adventures were during my Salsa Dancing years.

Can you or someone you know relate?

If you’ve let the fear of not being perfect or amazing at something get in the way of pursuing one of your goals, let’s talk. As a Life Coach, I’ve learned some things that could help you on your journey.

Click the link below to schedule a free, no-obligation chat called a Discovery Call.





I created this post as a mini booklet with Canva using some of the Pro account images. If you are (or know) the creator any of these images, I want to credit you (or them). Click the “Contact Me” link to message me directly.